It’s a rainy day in Vienna today. Hmmm and I’m lying in bed writing my blog since I found a bit of time again and it feels good being able to relax again.
Talking really is the best therapy I figured today. I’ve kind of acquired a really bad ability over the years not to talk about things that go through my mind. Since writing has always helped me with dealing with things, I realised it just doesn’t work anymore. It works with other things but not with the things that occupy my mind nowadays. This journey is hard. It’s like it’s right in front of your eyes but you still have to endure the hardest things, probably the most hardest things you’ve ever experienced in life before. When you have to put up with working in an environment that doesn’t suit your lifestyle at all is, for my part, the hardest thing. However, when other negative factors add on to that, it’s even harder. But who said life was easy?
The bigger problem is that I kind of avoided talking about my problems and people who know me can agree to that. I have a really hard time getting over myself and talk about myself and everything that concerns me. Over the past years, in this environment I’m in, I’ve noticed that mostly people just don’t give a shit. They pity you but at the end of the day, it’s them who they’re thinking about and not some other pansy who can’t cope with things. That was why I gave up talking about things that concern myself. But today I realised that those things don’t matter because there’s at least one person who really does feel the way you do and who is ready to listen and be there for you. Sometimes it’s the people you least expect and that’s the best thing because so much more comes out of it, you gain way more than you wanted. I think God just talked to me through a friend I thought that didn’t matter anymore. With all the talking from today, I can say that I know where to go whenever I feel worked up and insecure. It’s a hard journey to go through and I’m almost there and all I have to do is keep my grip and nerves together because there’s always a way. There’s always a plan B.
As long as I’m doing and giving my best, I’m sure God will do the rest.
=] <3 don't forget to smile.