I’ve read an article today about the author Amy Chua who has recently published her book “Battle Hypmne of the Tiger Mother”. The book is about her educational or bringing-up method and has lead to a controversy in the States. The reason for the controversy was that this book does not teach you how to bring up your child with love and affection but with discipline,coldharted and mercilessness. The way she brought up her children was driven by success and perfection. Thus, her children were drilled to become this. No wonder that this book was controversial.
I’m not going into the upbringing theme but more into what people drive. In this case success and perfection is being drilled. Not that success is something really bad. Everyone wants to succeed and there’s nothing to argue about but perfection is like a thorn in my eye. I have nothing against driven and ambitious people, none at all, I even know that it’s the best receipe to get to your goals but what I don’t understand is, why people are never satisfied when they have done a good job anyway.
It’s like with grades. People have a ‘B’ but aren’t yet happy about it. Just look around you and consider other people who’d love to have a ‘B’ but have to consider themselves content with a ‘D’ – and actually are.
So while the person with the good grade is unhappy about it, the person with just a positive grade feels truly happy. Where’s the mistake, though?
Okay, an example. You have strived and worked hard for a good grade for this essay you had to write. You pictured yourself getting the paper back with a big, red ‘A’ on it. However, when you actually get it back it just says ‘B’. Would one be disappointed about that result? NO.
You shouldn’t be disappointed at all. You’ve worked hard for it, that might be true but why would you be unhappy about a good grade that most other people would love to have?
When you think nothing is ever good enough, count your blessings and look at yourself again. Consider other people in your situation of dissatisfaction. Where’s your sympathy? And as I’ve said, there’s no argument of why you shouldn’t be ambitious but why can’t you just settle for something that is good enough once in your life?
Whining about it doesn’t make things better for you or your environment either. That’s how negative you can be – being unhappy because of something great. The more you live this kind of life, of not being content with good happenings because you want more, the more you can be sure that your life wouldn’t be good enough as well. Nothing ever will be good enough. It’s sad because the one who created you is already giving you everything he can to offer just to make you happy but still, you’re not content.
Back to Amy Chua who brought up her kids with many restrictions and rules.
In my opinion, how can you want your kids not to be happy? Why would you want to ‘create’ your kid’s personality? Why are you being selfish?
Education plays a big role in people’s life, no doubt, in mine as well but that’s not how you live life. Life is too short to be the best everywhere. Life is too short to always want to be on the top because at the end, when you’re lying on your deathbed and picture your past life in front of you, will you be able to say that you’ve had the best life ever with no regrets?
Imagine you have always strived and worked hard for being the best and totally neglected life. Wouldn’t it be sad if all you can say was that you’ve always been the best at everything but never really felt love or joy?
As a mother its self-evident that you want your kids to be great in school and to be a good kid but being a mother also means showing affection, showing your kid what happiness is and how to simply enjoy life. You might have accomplished much but when it was just that in your life, then why have you lived in the first place?
Many people just take things for granted and mostly the little things. Smiles for example. It’s something you do every day and see people doing it every day and therefore it’s something usual, but when you think that there are people out there who have a hard time, a smile would make their day even if it’s only one day out of their miserable life. They would feel hope and even affection, even if it’s a stranger. Happiness can’t be based on facts, figures and data. Happiness and contentment comes from the inside and the way you think.
I’ve gone through up and downs with my contentment and happiness and I’ve just realised that I should count my blessings and that will reassure myself and will prove that I can’t be happier. Things in life might not go the way I want them to go but there’s a purpose behind it and as they say, nothing lasts forever! Neither the good things nor the bad things, so enjoy and appreciate all the good things and have hope for the negative things have its ends as well.
=] <3 don't forget to smile.