life, personal

There are so many things I want to do and see but it just seems like everytime I want to do things for myself it just doesn’t feel right. There are so many things that keep holding me back and somehow I got to the point where I am craving for someone to say ‘Why don’t you cut her some slack and let her do what she wants?’.
At the moment, I am just having a really hard time accepting the answer ‘no’.
Throughout my teenage years it was never the problem because I hoped for more ‘yes’es in the future, when I would be done with my Matura and such. But the more I was craving for seeing the world, going out there and max out my potential and live out my dreams how I wanted it, the more ‘no’s I came across. And here I was at the same spot where I left off.
I am at the point where all these restrictions make me feel like time is running out to live.
Of course, it’s no big surprise that we are all going to die at one point but I wouldn’t want my life to end without being proud with what I have accomplished for myself. No regrets.
It is just sad to realise that I have yet to learn to think for myself. I have to learn also knowing what’s best for me and take turn now. And I guess the most important part is that I should learn how not to live up to people’s expectations but mine, since it is my path to go. I know, I am not the only person who struggles with that life perspective.

And I conclude by saying that I just want to live my life and be happy and I guess I am ready to do whatever it takes.

=] <3 don't forget to smile.


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