Today, I must admit, was quite a tough day. Well, not only today, but ever since the start of the week, I’ve found myself struggling with my time management and also a bit with my energy reserves. It’s gotten me quite frustrated and angry as well, because the will is there, yet the circumstances don’t allow you to do more than you want to. But also, the pressure and the fear is growing every day, which at this point just makes me want to turn back time and start over again. Whenever I’m stuck in my room studying or doing some things for Uni, my mind wanders. Even today, I wasn’t spared with negative thoughts. My mind constantly makes turns around my schedule, the things I have yet to do and also the rendezvous with the people I haven’t seen in ages. And all I can think of is ‘maybe this is too much’?
I often think about the people who are awesome in what they do, awesome in their time-managment and awesome in their confidence. It makes me think a lot about ‘why can’t I manage?’ Today’s just one of those days where my confidence hits a low-point and I don’t know how to deal with things. Like, I don’t want to have an Advent full of worries and bad moods. I guess, days like these are just inevitable, but yes, I need to pick myself up and cheer myself up, somehow. But what is God telling me? I know that I have to trust and rely on Him and that this workload and sacrifices are my crosses to carry until summer/fall, so what’s still missing on my part?
I have to apologise about this whiney post, but sometimes homegirl has to vent :P. I’d be glad for some advice, responses etc. from your side :) Thank you for bearing with me. Please, continue keeping me in your prayers.
Yours candidly, Ezzy