MY TWENTYSEVENTEEN #NoteToSelfs

ezzy, FOR THE HEART, life, NoteToSelf, personal, Uncategorized

Hey you,

clearly, I am writing this in my naive state because whatever I might say now, may or may not happen this year BUT we’d like to stay positive.

The year has actually started quite promising. While watching the fireworks out of my sister’s bedroom window, I felt hopeful. I think I have let go a lot of BS in the last weeks of 2016 which pretty much lead me to feeling refreshed and restarted. I have planned quite a bit for this year though I can already see the anxiety creeping up on me, therefore my mind has gone back and forth figuring out whether some of the plans are realistic or not. But since I do not want this first blog post of the year to be listing down all my hopes and dreams for 2017, I figured, in order to stay sane in the whirlwind called life, I’d rather dot down some of my #NoteToSelfs to remind myself that there are more important things, such as, building character and growth. DARUM, I’d like to share these followings with y’alls by starting off with:

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Let’s take care of each other.

Yes, taking care of all sorts of relationships are not only time consuming but also energy consuming. However, what I learned from last year is that you can either choose to put up with BS or you can choose to just turn your back on BS and move forward to more giving-and-giving-back sort of relationships. Upon reflecting about what I want to focus on this year, I realised that I have to work more on taking care of my friendships, my relationship to my parents and most of all taking care of my relationship to the man up there. I figured, relationships deeply rooted in Him should be the standard in my life because He should at all times be in the midst of it all.

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Establish better habits.

Who else has made it their habit to put off things? Procrastinate? Put less effort in things than actually necessary? Put me on the list. I think over the course of the years, I have developed a sense of laziness that I cannot seem to shrug off that easily. This year I really want to push myself in putting more effort in things up to the point where it hurts because sometimes with pain comes growth. This would entail financial sacrifices in order to save up for life time investments (oh, yes, signs of adulting). Also, I’d like to improve my decision-making skills which should start by finally making a fast decision on what to order at a restaurants – darn you, overwhelming choices. Maybe that can also mean that I can train and challenge my gut-feeling and intuition, like trusting it more. Anyways, my point here is that I’d like and hope to make it a habit to be more active  and mindful in all areas in my life.

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Work with what I have.

Somewhere along the road, I have failed to stick to my plans. Yes, graduation still feels miles away and my humility is really challenged these days, however, I refuse to continue having this tunnel vision of my future. See, I think the beauty of working with what you have is that you realise to appreciate the littlest things. It also starts with showing gratitude. Working with what I have also means that I have to accept where I am at the moment but still push forward because chances are that wonderful things happen during the process that will help me to grow and become a better self. What worth do the big successes have without the little successes? I’ve recently read a paper for my bachelor’s thesis where it said ‘studies show that a modestly humble CEO who seeks advice when taking decisions or who acknowledges mistakes is more successful’ – so hopeful. Most importantly, a great reminder is always that it is never about me, but it always about Him. I’m an instrument *repeat to oneself*.

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All in His perfect timing.

Not only referring to my career and my own plans but most importantly the breakthrough that I’ve been waiting for, for a couple of years now. With breakthrough I mean, breaking out of my rut and negativity. It’s all about the attitude, that’s what I tell myself but sometimes you just cannot help and give in to the frustration. But this year, I want to trust and listen. He will lay out all my paths and I need to persevere, work hard and have faith and trust.

In summary, I think by reminding myself and keeping these in the back of my head, I hope that with a lot of prayer, I become a better version of myself at the end of this year. I think I am ready.

Yours candidly,
Ezzy

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