FOR THE HEART, inspiration, personal, PONDER, sisterhood

For the people who know me, I have always had an admiration for Wonder Woman, yet over the years I have come to realise that what I saw in her and what I saw in the hype of the Third Wave Feminism, I became a little more sceptic and careful about how much I wanted to let it influence my views on womanhood. Therefore, I also had my doubts whether the movie would be any good, because firstly, it’s a DC-Movie and the last few ones were a disappointment (Sorry Ben, but Christian Bale will forever be my favorite Batman), secondly, Wonder Woman blew up the whole Feminism topic again and lastly, I wasn’t sure if the plot would be any good at all. PTL, all my assumptions proved me wrong. Read on to find out why!



FOR THE HEART, sisterhood

People always wondered why my siblings never called me ‘Ate’ and simply just call me by my name. People seemed to be quite disturbed about that and I could never relate because it didn’t bother me as much. Maybe because I grew up without the relevancy of that name, because my mother taught me how to be an older sibling without being labelled. I don’t know. But now I know for sure, that being an ‘Ate’ is so much more than what lies behind the label.



It’s one of these mornings where I just scroll down my news feed and find so many things to read that seem to inspire me to pass on these great messages. Thank God for that. This is something I want to share with you, especially with all my sisters out there. This should be somewhat of a reminder, what one of your purposes as a woman is. It’s not only about how you feel about yourself, but it’s also about what you have to offer to the following generations, but yet most especially your legacy. I encourage you to reflect upon it and also share it with your group of friends.




To live in a world where certain standards are being thrown at your face as a woman, is hard. And to be quite frank, as woman nothing is ever good enough. You’re not skinny enough, you’re not tall enough and you’re not smart enough. What has happened? Why has outer appearances become such a great requirement to be attractive to the other gender? Why has our way of thinking become so shallow? How can a woman survive in this world who’s not got a flawless body and this and that?
My heart literally breaks when I hear girls complain about their body flaws and how insecure they are about not being picture perfect beautiful. It breaks my heart when I think that of myself as well. How emotionally exhausting it is when we constantly compare ourselves to other girls who we think are beautiful and flawless? How much does this thinking encourage us to put our self-worth and self-confidence in the bottom drawer? To be honest, there’s always going to be one person who we think is far better than ourselves but who says you can’t be as good as them yet in a different area in your life? 
Life isn’t here to impress your neighbours or to impress your friends. We’ve given the Gift of Life to be able to be a Gift to Him and newsflash, God doesn’t care what kind of new car you’re driving, what kind of new sneakers you got or to which exotic country you’re able to travel to. God cares more about how you treat your heart and the people around you. Do you think God would be happy about you striving to be thinner than the person next to you? Do you think God would be happy seeing you so broken about your looks? Yes, it is hard in this life. The competition, the pressure and the high standards but do you really want your life to be surrounded by that? Do you really want to struggle your whole life to meet all those expectations? How about striving to be happy and content?
I’ve given up to meet all those standards because I know I’d never be good enough for the whole world.  My heart would not take all the disappointment. Besides, being a bad person is worse than having a bad body shape, is it not? And what we tend to forget is that when we do not change the way we think about all this, we directly pass it over to our future daughters. Would you want that for your daughters? To live in this world with the anxieties of not being good enough for anything?  In the end, nothing is ever about you. 
I encourage you, my sisters, to live a life where you truly seek Him. Seek Him and he will heal every inch of your insecurities, fears and brokeness. Not that I am saying that I am there already, because in truth, I am not there yet at all, but I want to be so badly. 

Genesis 1:26


I’ve found this ages ago and yet, it always does surprise and inspire me. Poetry is a very fine and beautiful art and it’s sad to see that it’s not been hyped as much. Girls, listen to this poetry about being a Proverbs31-Woman. Enjoy!

P4CM Official Poet Janette

(taken from: http://franklinoutthebox.tumblr.com/ (21.01.2014))

So it seemed that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me.

So I took matters into my own hands, and ended up with him.
Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, & a thief.
So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,
Cause it was me who let him in…
Claiming we were “just friends”.
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!
I was gonna make him ‘The One’
You know, I was tired of being alone.
And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time, 
So I decided to drag him along for the ride,
Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride.
A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!
Who was tired of the wait!
So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.
He had a… form of Godliness… but not much.
But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough.
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me. Arteries so clogged with my will, it blocked His will from flowing through me.So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He sawed,
Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
To transplant Psalm 51:10
A new heart; a renewed right spirit within!
So now I fully understand,
Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
How much I need to wait… for You.
See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..
Cause in the beginning was the Word 
And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, 
And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –Which meant NOTHING.
He couldn’t even pray when I needed him to,
Asking him to fast would be absurd!
So forget about being cleansed; washed with water through the Word…
But I know You..
You were already praying for me.
Even never having met me,
Let me assure you, I will wait for you.
I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention
And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.
You know….
He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name LUKE,
His last name WARM.
I, I won’t settle for false companionship
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
Attempting to find some closeness,
But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held
Cause ”all I gotta do is Say” No!
No more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
Passing winks; buying drinks,
I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!
Who flirts with the ideology of,
‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with; still be saved?’
NO more.
I’ll stay in my bed alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you.
He won’t even come close,
Our fingers won’t even interlock
We won’t even exchange breath
Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.
I will no longer get weighted down, From so-called friends, family talks, About the concern for my biological clock
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time,
But I’M subject to Him,
He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…
So if we could role play,
You would be Abraham, I would be Sara
Or you can be Isaac, I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer
I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons
I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.
We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image,
But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.
If I were to explain what you looked like,
You would have to look like a star,
A son of the Son..
I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you.
And I will know you… because when you speak 
I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.
But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning
More than the watchmen wait for the morning…

I will wait.


Girls, whether you like it or not, in our environment we do play a certain role that comes with responsibilities. We might be the eldest girl in the family, we might have this certain ‘Ate’ role in the community or we simply have to be a good role model for the people we interact in our daily lives. Of course, a lot of pressure comes with that responsibility since we’re just human and we can’t always do the right thing. We make mistakes, we don’t have the right attitude towards certain things and situations or we just simply don’t feel strong enough to go towards the path of being a role model. However, we need each other more than we sometimes want to admit. It doesn’t always have to be an hierarchical situation where you assume that the older girls need to take care of you. Some wise bird told me that a relationship shouldn’t be based on ‘give and take’ but therefore, even better, should head into the direction of ‘give and give back’. It even sounds a lot more optimistic! Whenever we reflect on what kind of woman we want to be, we tend to think of independence, strength and intelligence. I don’t argue against that, but I guess before us girls should focus on those traits, the followings are a lot more important:
Picture: http://25.media.tumblr.com/7f8599fb2213b20274e9b15663db39a0/tumblr_mj5on1WchS1s3fivbo1_500.jpg
  1. She Wisely Wears Her Rubies: By this I mean her immense wisdom. Wisdom being worth far more than rubies. I love how Proverbs describes a woman of wisdom as: “A rich desire for knowledge and a love for humanity”. Wisdom has a voice and it’s feminine! A woman worth following doesn’t stand in silence. She listens to the voice of courage and change and it guides her in making choices that display discretion, patience, and understanding.
  2. She Lives Beyond Herself: She’s filled with compassion for the least, the last, and the lost. You know, those who few like, no one sees, no one hears. A woman worth following always thinks beyond herself. She’s not a narcissist taking constant “selfies” (pictures of oneself). No, a woman worth following is mindful of those who are suffering in the world around her. Empathy fills her and causes her to act. She spreads joy, love, and laughter wherever she goes. Ultimately, people feel safe to be seen by her.
  3. She’s Got Guts: She’s not opposed to risk. In fact, I would say that most women worth following are willing to take risks. I’m not talking about risks of immaturity, like driving home drunk. I’m talking about wise risk like self-publishing that manuscript you’ve worked on for 5 years, or taking that trip to Central Africa in order to encounter another culture that’s always fascinated you. A woman worth following has got the guts to risk. And not only that, she’s counted the cost. Calculated the leap. Whether it’s an investment of her time, money, energy, or relationships, she’s willing to pay the price, take the jump, and go for the glory.
  4. She Is an Original Voice, Not an Echo: She doesn’t mimic others, she creates. She’s an original. She’s got something unique, different, and distinct about her. She marches to the beat of her own drum. To do this takes courage. Boldness. It’s not easy to put yourself “out there”, to present your voice, your ideas, your life itself for others to critique and examine. But a woman worth following does all of those things, time and time again, because she knows there’s a unique contribution that only she can make to the world.

(taken from: http://dalepartridge.com/voice-echo/ (17.01.2014)) 



ezzy, personal, sisterhood
How many of you get easily annoyed when waiting for the train or bus to come? How many roll their eyes in their cars when the pedestrians take the longest time to walk across the road? How many of you just can’t stand queues? We probably spend most of our days here on Earth waiting. However, whatever we do, whatever life throws at us, there’s always a purpose behind it. 
You’d say waiting is just a waste of time because life is too short or maybe you’d say there must be something romantic about waiting. Either way, the movies and stories in books could have never expressed the actual state you are in as much as actually being in that state yourself. Sometimes it’s bearable but sometimes it’s also painful, which always leads me to thinking that the painfuller a situation, the best moments can spring out of it – when you believe. So whatever you’re waiting for, I hope this will give you a better idea and understanding about the reasons why.
I was reading an article the other day that reminded me and showed me how to cope in times of waiting.
Picture: http://24.media.tumblr.com/793bf441dee3daf0214eb31215949017/tumblr_mz1yleT94j1r4ueyro1_500.jpg

Sovereignty in Suffering

It’s tempting in the midst of suffering to doubt one of two things: God’s goodness or God’s sovereignty. If God were good, why would He allow this? If God were sovereign, we could have avoided this! This thinking is unbiblical and void of any weighty theology. A believer needs to feed his soul during these times. The very bigness of our God must consume the suffering we experience. 

The psalmist in Psalm 66 calls his readers to “Come and see what God has done: He is awesome in His deeds toward the children of man … For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried … you laid a crushing burden on our backs … we went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.” 

Notice what the psalmist points out, that God does awesome deeds toward His children, and those deeds involve being tried as silver, having crushing burdens laid on our backs and going through fire, that God’s good deeds toward His children involve trials. Yet, God not only brings His people to trials, He brings them through them. 2 Peter 2:9 says, “the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials.” This should strengthen our confidence both in His power and His goodness.

Waiting is expected in the Christian life

The Bible is full of stories of waiting. Abraham and Sarah waited for a child. Joseph waited unjustly in jail. The Hebrews waited for freedom in Egypt. David waited for the throne. The Israelites waited in exile. Paul waited for a thorn to be removed. 

Was God not in control here? Is He in control now? God’s plan is perfected in the wait, and we, His people are reminded throughout the course of redemptive history 
A professor once said, “The whole of Christian life is becoming what God has already declared you to be.” The wait you and I experience is not abnormal to the Christian life, but is part of the very essence of the Christian experience. 

Our wait is painful, but it will pale in comparison to the glory we will one day see in eternity. Remember this in suffering. When you think about it in light of 100,000 years, it’s like a blip on a radar.

God breaks us to bless us

Our dreams may be God-given, Scripture-driven and Gospel-centered but they are not all encompassing. We set out to adopt a child from Ethiopia, God set out to work out our own adoption by sanctifying us in this process. 

To us, the best solution to a painful wait is to resolve it. Bring me my spouse. Give me children. Fix our family drama. Yet, God uses these periods in our life to break us. Like Moses in the desert, Paul with his thorn, Jacob as he wrestled with God. 

He breaks us to bless us. He breaks us so we can see Him. Through times of suffering, God is crushing our self-dependence and awakening our soul to the persistent reality of our need and how only He has ability to give us true joy. Yes, children are good. Marriage is good. Sex is good. Promotions are good. Friendships are good. But God is better.

Christ is better

One question God has hammered into my soul this year is this: Is Christ enough? Specifically, if God doesn’t do _________, can I still be satisfied in Christ? Honestly, the answer doesn’t come easily, and it reaches to the very core of what we believe. 

I’ve realized through waiting and suffering that God, like an all-wise, all-loving Father, will often withhold things, even good things, when they become God-things. When the focus of our worship shifts from the Giver to the gifts, from the Healer to the healing, God will realign our focus to save our souls and preserve His glory.

This question must be asked in the midst of suffering, not after the fact: Today, when you don’t have the very thing you’ve prayed, longed, yearned for isn’t here, can you find joy in Christ? Is the Gospel sufficient? The answer to this question reveals the object of your worship. 

Paul challenges the Church with an eternal perspective that bleeds from the very core of the Gospel: “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 2:16-18).(taken from: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/waiting-god-hard-and-that%E2%80%99s-ok (10.01.2014))