Well, well, well… look who’s made it back! I apologise for being pretty much MIA the past year and for not being consistent with producing content. I had a lot on my plate last year that pretty dried up all my creativity and unfortunately also my drive to write. HOWEVER, I am back and will try my best to keep you posted about my life, my life realisations and my milestones that I want to keep and look back at in another seven years’ time (just as old as this blog). As far as the future of this blog is concerned, I’d really like to stay connected with you guys by writing about stuff that you’re interested in and you’d like to talk and discuss about – so if you have some ideas, just hit me up and let me know. But even more so, please don’t be weirded out when some of my content is a mix-match of all sorts of topics… I still do consider this blog as my scrapbook as well. So, without further ado, let’s jump right in!
I’m a tad bit late with this, but I wanted to start this year with a new concept to my blog. As you can see I played around with some graphics to keep this blog a bit more alive and of course, to get my creative juices going. In a nutshell, here are my travel highlights of the past year.
Thank you guys for your patience and thank you guys for your support. I really, really, really appreciate it. Stay tuned for some more!
Happy Holy Week, errbody!
Since a dear brother as well as my blood-brother of mine has challenged me to post a bible verse a day, I decided to take up the challenge and bring a bit of life back into my blog. So, dear readers, here you go. One encouragement a day for a whole week.
CAUTION: this post contains 100% bluntness and honesty.
Twenty-fifteen was a year that felt like a longass (excuse my language) marathon! Nevertheless, I knew I needed it: the ups, the downs, the challenges, the successes, the hurts, the love as well as the losses and the blessings. Even though the year started off very tough and emotionally challenging, I wouldn’t change it for anything because it has truly made me stronger. There were a lot of times where I had to put all my energy into fighting off my flaws through accepting and understanding. There were dozens of moments where I had to humble myself and truly remind myself that the world doesn’t revolve around me. And the moments which I am most grateful for are the ones when I started to learn to value myself more. And learned that I truly matter and therefore must not settle for anything less than I deserve. It’s been a hurtful experience stripping everything off and letting go of things that held me back from genuinely being my Self, but just looking back, it was worth the pain and the tears. There were a few moments this year, that made twenty-fifteen immensely memorable to me, and I’d like to share them with y’all:
Today, I must admit, was quite a tough day. Well, not only today, but ever since the start of the week, I’ve found myself struggling with my time management and also a bit with my energy reserves. It’s gotten me quite frustrated and angry as well, because the will is there, yet the circumstances don’t allow you to do more than you want to. But also, the pressure and the fear is growing every day, which at this point just makes me want to turn back time and start over again. Whenever I’m stuck in my room studying or doing some things for Uni, my mind wanders. Even today, I wasn’t spared with negative thoughts. My mind constantly makes turns around my schedule, the things I have yet to do and also the rendezvous with the people I haven’t seen in ages. And all I can think of is ‘maybe this is too much’?
“Unlimited forgiveness. Unilateral, unconditional, self-sacrificial love. Love of enemies. Being perfect as God is perfect. Zealous proclamation of the gospel. All these are about mercy.” – Tito Frank Padilla, CFC FFL Servant General
Mercy. This is the year of mercy. Can we all just take a deep breath and feel the emotion when you hear the word mercy. Thank you.
Just by reading the quote that’s stated above, I can feel the power that this upcoming year withholds. For me, this year is such a crucial year to finally change our ways and to faithfully walk beside Him. It’s just something that I cannot explain but my gut tells me, it’s the year of “now or never”. For most of us, we constantly battle with the thoughts of the past, the mistakes and the wrong decisions we made, but for this year’s Advent, maybe we can take the small but big step that heads towards our goals and prepare for the future.
Ever since I’ve known about the theme of the church’s New Year, I’ve always gotten tingles in my body because deep inside I know, that His power will fill each and everyone of us, in ways that we’ve never encountered before. For my part, there have been occasions and times where I deeply felt his grace and mercy. Most especially for situations, that I couldn’t and didn’t want to control, He still showed me that He was in control, even though I always felt like I was not deserving of it. However, He pulled the strings and lead me to a direction with vital challenges that I have yet to face and that I can only overcome with His help. I just realise now, how clever He is – wow. He put my graduation, the congress preps and all other lifetime decisions into one year because He knew I couldn’t handle it without Him. Wow, so good! I just realise now that He gave me His grace to follow His ways because that’s what I’ve always wanted. And even though I am confused and I don’t quite know which move I should do next, I have the feeling that He just wants me to ask for His assistance because, let’s be honest, He put me in this situation because the will affect my future a lot and I don’t want to mess up. And it all starts by showing mercy unto others, like forgiving them for their shortcomings, forgiving them for the hurts they’ve done to me and forgiving them for just anything. And I think we always forget the most important person in our lives – ourselves. It’s time to forgive ourselves too. It’s high time to forgive yourself as well, B. Wow, Lord, you’re good. I’m quite amazed at this very minute because just by writing all this, I’ve received a long trail of realisations and it’s crazy but I’ve also gained a lot of perspective now. For everything that God has placed in our hearts and lives, they are worth praying for because if we want to get the best out of it, we need to put them in His hands to fully unfold.
Maybe I am late to this realisation, maybe not. But honestly, I am really thankful for this realisation because now I know how to fully prepare for Christmas. May God be praised.
Yours candidly, Ezzy.
A good friend and Ate of mine challenged me to post up a blog entry for every week during the advent season, and I must say, I am pretty stoked about it. So, for the next couple of weeks, I will post up my advent reflections on here.
Just by staring at the screen I can’t hardly realise yet, that it is December. It’s the last month of the year and it’s Christmas really soon. With Uni’s workload and all other huge events that are coming up, I really am concerned that I won’t get into the real Christmas feel. Have you ever gone through a time, where you were just focussed on particular things and completely blend out everything else around you? That’s what I go through now, with all the clutter in my mind. That’s why I am quite relieved that I get to do this Advent Reflection because I have no other choice than to reflect. To be honest, I don’t really know what’s going to happen in a few weeks. I don’t have any expectations on how the Christmas festivities will be and how I’ll welcome the New Year. I don’t even know what I wish for Christmas. Just to be completely blunt, I don’t know anything. Maybe during this Advent Season, I should challenge myself to reflect even more on things that aren’t related to school, work or stress. Maybe what I need are just off days where I can completely fall into meditation and think about life. Maybe I should just include the guy up there more into my daily life and share it with Him.
All I pray for this Advent is that I might find peace within my heart and know that whatever will happen, will happen through Him. I pray, that I can wholeheartedly be happy for the things that are occurring at the moment because I am where I am supposed to be right now. I pray, that throughout these upcoming weeks, I might find the joy and the excitment for everything that’s to come. I pray, that I truly open my heart to this Advent season, so it can become another memorable one.
What do you wish and pray for this Advent?
Yours candidly, Ezzy.
People always wondered why my siblings never called me ‘Ate’ and simply just call me by my name. People seemed to be quite disturbed about that and I could never relate because it didn’t bother me as much. Maybe because I grew up without the relevancy of that name, because my mother taught me how to be an older sibling without being labelled. I don’t know. But now I know for sure, that being an ‘Ate’ is so much more than what lies behind the label.
I was in London a couple of weeks ago, and I dearly fell in love with the city. My sister and I were so blessed with the weather, which you obviously don’t get a lot in the UK, so, thank you Lord! Here is a mixture of pictures I took that have one or the other meaning. I must confess, I haven’t taken a lot of pictures but these are my faves. I took them with my iPhone and edited them with vscocam. Hope you enjoy!
Yours candidly, Ezzy.
P.S. stay tuned. More is about to come :)
Under the clouds above LDN
The one airport where passengers run for their flights – Frankfurt Airport
Wheels on LDN bridge
Buckingham Palace aka my 2nd residence
Covent Garden and a cloud’s cameo
Picadilly Circus at 6am – crowdless
Spitalfields Market… and where I left my heart.
St. Paul’s Cathedral
Court Of Justice and a little bit of blue sky
Victoria Quarter, Leeds
Victoria Quarter, Leeds
St. Pancras International
East End Street Art